When I Struggle to Leave my Past in the Past
Last night, I started to work on this website and I was feeling excited about using my gift of writing to encourage someone else. But as I was driving to work I started thinking about all of the foolish things that I've said and done in my past.
I cringed at the thought of God actually watching my behaviour and listening to the rubbish that came out of my mouth. Even though I repented for these things years ago, the thoughts of what I said and did still managed to come to back to try and make me relive the guilt.
I quickly came to realise that these thoughts were not from God because He had already forgiven me, so where did they actually come from?
satan was trying to drag me down. I had to quickly put my foot down, if I gave him a foot hold, I would have probably spent the day feeling low which could have almost likely resulted in putting a stop to creating this blog. Ephesians 4:37 tells me that I shouldn't give satan an opportunity to come in, so I had to stop him in his tracks right there and then by believing what God said in His word about forgiveness and understanding that I already possess the power and authority to reject lies from satan.
““So let God work his will in you. Yell a loud no to the Devil and watch him scamper.”
James 4:7
The Message”
I just want you to know that your past is not a surprise to God as He is the creator of all living things and He has seen it all before. The Bible is proof of this.
Jeremiah 31:3 tells us that God said: “I've never stopped loving you and never will. Look forward to my continuous love!” God's love for us is eternal, it did not end when you turned your back on Him, when you made those silly mistakes, when everyone else turned their backs on you or when others hurt and rejected you. There is nothing you can do to stop Him from loving you. If you have been given a specific task to do for God, keep pushing on and don't let the thoughts of your past abort your dreams and visions.
In the Bible, Hagar got herself into serious trouble! She was left alone with her son in the wilderness because she had an illegitimate child with Abraham who was already married! Abraham’s wife, Sarah, couldn't have children and Hagar was promised that if she gave Abraham a son, they would be looked after. When things went wrong, she found herself alone with her son. Hagar more than likely felt used and rejected. Her situation probably made her feel worthless like a piece of old furniture that was tossed into the street and forgotten about. She turned to God for help and He heard her desperate cry and promised that a great nation would come from her child, Ishmael also. (Read Genesis 21:10-21)
Rehab was a prostitute and God saved her just because she had faith in Him (Read Hebrews 11:31)
Zacchaeus was a tax collector who was a cheat because he would collect more tax than what was required and kept the extra for himself to become rich. God saved him because he sought after Jesus and was willing to change. (Read Luke 19: 1-10)
The woman of Samaria had five husbands and the man that she was with at the time when she met Jesus was not even one of them! God saved her because she had a desire for a new life with Jesus. (Read St John 4:1-42)
In each of these situations everyone had different reasons for seeking God. The Lord did not judge them by their past or their situations. He looked beyond their faults and just saw their needs and now, God is ready to do something new in your life. So you can no longer allow your past to determine your future.
It's time to let go and move forward - start walking.
Great Expectations
Guys, guess what? I approached a stranger today and briefly told them about my walk with God; I even managed to share a part of my testimony. You're probably thinking to yourself: "That's no big deal, shouldn't all Christians do that?” Well, sadly this is something that I’ve been struggling with. My fear of rejection had hindered me from evangelising, but today God gave me the boldness to just go for it. I was so elated that I felt as if I was walking on water. I just couldn't believe that I actually did it; I had achieved my good deed for the day.
When I'm at home, I'm usually lumbered with the delightful task of tidying the room for my two sons who are aged three and six; however, a few weeks ago, I decided to ask the boys to do it themselves. I left them alone to get the job done and after about 10 minutes, they came running down the stairs shouting: "Mummy, mummy, come and look at our room now."
I opened the door to see their bedroom looking somewhat tidier; however, a few of their toys were hanging out of the drawers and some were still left on the floor in the corner of the room.
Their massive ecstatic grins told me that they eagerly awaited praise for a job well done because in their eyes, they did the best job that they could do. Even though my boys didn't clean the room to my standard, I still gave them a hug and let them know that I was very proud. I could tell that they tried their best; however, as they get older, I will expect more from my children when it comes to cleaning up after themselves.
These are my babies, thank you Lord for my family.
Sometimes when we achieve something great for the Lord, we perceive this as a job well done and this can cause us to feel as if we don't have to make an effort to aspire for anything greater.
We must remember that God is our creator; therefore He owes us nothing. God will expect more of us as we grow in Christ. This walk will continue until we reach our final destination which is Heaven. There's always going to be deeper depths and higher heights to reach. It's not time for us to put up our feet just yet.
To those of you, who have accomplished great things for the Lord, I'd like to say well done, but what's your next challenge?
“So then, brothers and sisters, we ask and encourage you in the Lord Jesus to keep living the way you already are and even do better in how you live and please God—just as you learned from us.”
1 Thessalonians 4:1 CEB
Odd One Out - Church Girls in a Club
Good Morning. I'm just about to get ready for church today, before I go, I would like to share an eye-opening event from my past with you.
Well, here goes... Have a blessed day!
By the time I was 18 years old, my main focus was to try and figure out what career path I should take. As I was still living at home with my parents, I continued to attend church on a regular basis and I even managed to attend Sunday school and conventions. I was doing just enough to blend in with the crowd at church.
In my mind, I thought that everything was ok with God and I because I was doing all of the basic practical things that pleased Him. Strangely enough, I believed He understood that this was just not the right time for me to make a commitment.
After asking God to help me with my driving test; I passed on my second attempt. Not only did He answer my prayer but He also blessed me with my first car.
My friends and I were planning a big night out, it was supposed to be amazing. What made that night out so special, was the fact that we now had our own transport. We were going to be traveling in style to the club in my second hand, 1 litre, metallic blue Nissan Micra.
The evening for our wild night finally came and I just couldn't wait for the church service to be over so I could make a sharp exit to get home, get changed, pick up my girls and hit the road. There was definitely no time for an altar call that evening.
““That night we weren’t labelled as those three girls from church. We were just Chantelle, Geneetta and Michelle.””
When we got to the club were having great time and by looking at us, you would never know that we were daughters of an Elder, a Minister and a Youth President. We were feeling good because that night we weren't labelled as those three girls from church, we are just Chantelle, Geneetta and Michelle - 3 young ladies who were out to have a good time just like the other ladies in the crowd.
So, there we were in the middle of the club having the time of our lives when all of a sudden we heard loud gun shots. People were screaming, panicking and trampling on one another to get to the nearest exit. We grabbed a hold of each other and raced to the car as quickly as we could. We jumped into my car and instantaneously started praying. Now, I'm not talking about a small prayer like: "Thank you Lord for keeping us safe. Amen." I mean we are really praying from the bottom of our hearts.
We ended the night by sitting in the car talking about how good God was to us. Not long after, I found myself tucked up in bed hours earlier than I originally planned. So much for a wild night out!
Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colours in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven.
St. Matthew 5: 14-16 (The Message)
That night we realised that no matter where we were or how we were dressed, there was something different about us. There was something deep down inside that we couldn't shake off. We looked like all of the other ladies in the club, but something told us that we were different.
Sometimes you may feel as if your the odd one out, but please don't feel bad about it. There's a reason why you can't just blend in with the crowd and it's simply because your not supposed to. God has put something deep down in you too. Start a closer walk with Him today so you can figure out what your purpose is and then you'll know what God has actually called you to do.
Today Michelle (left) is the author of Dead Man Walking and she is going strong in her walk with God. Michelle is founder and Director of Toolbox which is a company that specialises in healthy relationships. Geneetta (right) was the first one out of us to start her walk with God and Michelle and I followed shortly after. She is currently setting up her ministry and business ventures with her husband in Scotland.
Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. Romans 12:2 (The Message)